My last post goes right into what I’m going to talk to you about today, so if you haven’t read it yet, go do that now here – I am a very emotional person. I know it, I’ve accepted it, and I’ve lived with it my entire life. And do you want to know one of main reasons I become emotional? When I feel like I’m not in control.
I think that is one of the main reasons for a lot of people. Not having control over things or situations is extremely frustrating – and it can cause a lot of stress, anxiety, and emotions! For example, going to school has always been a little bit rough for me, but I have been really dedicated the past semesters to get good grades. When I get a notification that I got a B or C on an assignment – my anxiety goes through the roof! Right when I get that I have to go to my overall grade, I study the feedback, and sometimes I’ll email the instructor for a redo if possible. In lots of ways, I do have the control over my grades. If I study and follow the rubrics correctly, I will get good grades. However, sometimes I totally misunderstand or I didn’t study quite enough to get the grade I want. And at that point, I don’t really have control. Other than to learn from my mistakes and fix it.
That was kind of long story and the point kind of got away from me there. Sorry. My point is that there is always SOMETHING that I have control over. Yes, in certain situations, I really have no control or voice in the matter. However, there are so many aspects in my life that I do have control over. Like my last post, I talked about how I changed my mindset and got things done really quickly. Why did I do that? Because I wanted to come home to a clean house – that was the goal. My obstacle? Time. But I still did it, because I decided it was going to get done in the short amount of time I had. I knew I wouldn’t be able to vacuum or finish the laundry, but I made a reasonable goal to take up the time I DID have.
I still feel like I’m not completely giving you the message I came here to give you. My stories and my thoughts are a little scatter-brained today (which lots of times that can be a good thing, I’m very inspired while writing this!). But control can cause anxiety and stress, but it can also cause satisfaction and content. I have to choose to use my time wisely for things that I CAN control, and I have to remember to not stress about the things I CAN’T control.
Let’s start over with my schoolwork. I have the responsibility of passing my classes to get my degree. That’s just a fact and I have to take accountability if I fail classes, because that was on ME. Something that I KNOW is that is if I study, I read the materials, ask questions, and follow the rubric, I will get a good grade. And for higher point assignments, I need to escalate all these rules to make sure I do well on the assignment. However, there are times when I forget or I just completely miss the point of the assignment, or I don’t quite understand – and I get a bad grade. And then I’m frustrated, because how dare I neglect that assignment or not ask my teacher for help or just misunderstand what they want. There was something that I could have done to prevent this. That is on ME. But at this point, I don’t have the control to change my grade, that is up to my instructor (which is very rare to get a redo or a changed grade). So what can I do from here? I can take in the feedback they give me, if they give me any, and change the way I looked at the assignment. If I misunderstood, I could go back and study it again and ask questions this time. Because I now know that I didn’t understand fully what I was supposed to. I have the control to do those things to become BETTER and improve.
Kinda cool, right? I like to think that by having the control of learning and improving is one of the best things life can offer.
And when we don’t have control over situations and it is still a constant burden, we can do all we can and focus on the things that we CAN control.
Anyway, that’s probably why I change my hair so often… I get to choose what I want to do next with it, I have the control to decide, and I can cut it whenever I want! If I want a change, it’s done. But don’t just limit yourself to hair, you have the power to change a lot. We all have so much that we are in constant control of and we should be taking advantage of it to better ourselves.